It all took only 2 weeks, she was in the hospital for her wedding anniversary and her birthday. She was in good spirits, and optimistic that she would return home and that she would be able to fight. Not one minute did she look afraid, or angry, or sad. Her fight was very courageous and she remained strong throughout. She will be greatly missed.
The eerie thing was about 2 weeks ago after she woke up after they did the bronchoscopy (scope into the lungs to find out about the condition of them) and told her that she had the lung cancer but that they didn't know the type yet and thought they could treat it with chemo and see what happened, she told my mother and i "well, that went better than i thought... i thought i'd wake up and they'd tell me that i had two weeks to get my shit together, and i thought how in the world am i going to sort thru all that shit at home in two weeks." and low and behold, it's been about two weeks.
I think she knew. and she still wasn't afraid. I only wish I could be that strong. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way glad that she's gone and it happened quickly, but as compared to the struggle she would have had later this is better. Cancer is PAIN and that's not a life you're leading when it gets to the point of hospice, it's just a continuation of your death.
I only wish I could be that strong. We'll miss you, 'mam.